by Tieran Harvey
My mom hates all of the characters I love. I adore a whiny woman who is her own worst enemy navigating life in the big city. My mom complained that she couldn’t get through the first episode of Girls (HBO), because, “the girls are annoying and their problems aren’t real” and sided with the mom after watching Ladybird (2017). Each time I send a piece of media close to my heart her way, she gives the same complaint. I can’t help but take this as a reflection of her opinion of me. Media at its core is supposed to help us understand each other; it’s an empathy device. I now deeply understand the divide between my mother and I.
I take it on the chin and come back with an immature but effective: “you just don’t get it.” In all fairness, she totally doesn’t get it. My mom was taking care of three kids alone with my dad on deployment for months at a time, she doesn’t give a fuck that Big is going to Paris. My mom is proud to have given me security and the ability to go out and focus on myself for my early 20s. To agonize over trivial pursuits. To try to be an artist. To ask if my pain is real pain. She gifted me the privilege to whine.
These filmmakers had the opportunity because of their financial status and because they grew up more or less unscathed. I read an article, fine, it was a tumblr post, exploring the idea that most artists are “trust fund babies,” because, more often than not, if given the security to choose a risky career, humans will choose to make art. If the goal of sharing media is to create empathy, shouldn’t it be focused on those less fortunate? Should it be focused on what matters? What matters? Is it worthwhile to give a spotlight to
the Hannahs and the Carries and the Fleabags? The privilege to whine has given back to society its fair share, it’s brought us masterpieces like Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and Kafka’s Metamorphosis. It’s also brought us Ben Platt in Dear Evan Hansen (2021).
Well, I have no answers to the questions. All I have is the opportunity to wallow over them.
Leave a Reply